Blackberry Widow

I am a Blackberry Widow. My husband got a Blackberry for work at the start of December. I knew he would be obsessed with it, initially anyway. He is a gizmo kind of guy and a Blackberry is a gizmo deluxe!

Previously, he always said he didn't see what the fascination was with Blackberries - they seemed to be like an addiction. He even said that he didn't know why people got so caught up with them and he couldn't imagine having one. What a pain to have your work follow you home, he said.

Then he got one.

At first, he was tentative about the Blackberry. Cautiously asking our daughters questions about how to do this or that. Then he began to explore on his own. He became like an armchair adventurer, delving into the abyss of the Blackberry. Like cocaine, it has sucked him deeper and deeper into its mysteries. Revealing itself, one small step at a time.

Then, the unbelievable happened! I called him for dinner one night and he couldn't put it down until he finished dealing with it's siren call. If you knew my husband, missing dinner is like cutting off one of his limbs. When he was younger, he would pace back and forth until I had a meal on the table, always anxiously awaiting his sustenance. I knew then, that the Blackberry had its hold on him.

As if he wasn't addicted enough, he received "Blackberries for Dummies" book for Christmas. I haven't seen or heard much from him since...I think he said something about downloading some apps but I'm not sure because I don't think he even knew I was there...was he even talking to me? Or to the Blackberry?

Pain

I thought I should throw a bit of fiction out, for a change. I seem to documenting my life instead of writing like I originally intended to...this piece is called:

"Pain"

She was devastated when she got it, even a little confused. It was beyond her understanding this little piece of paper. Although she knew that it would have to be done sometime, she assumed that she would get a call or an email from them not a bill from the church announcing that it would happen the weekend coming up. It was less than five days away; she just couldn’t get her head around it.

She was still heartbroken from when he passed. God, she missed him so much. She missed visiting him, and chatting with him. She missed his big warm hands that held hers while they sat together in the common room at the home a few times a week over the years. Despite his infirmities, they always had a nice time visiting. Him, quiet and gentle while she was more outgoing and chatty. They were good friends and respected each other in their own quiet ways. She would ask him what he wanted to do with this or that whenever issues came up or if it was ok to change something or if she needed help with Mom. He was good that way and would let her know if that was fine or not, he liked that sort of thing.

He had had such a hard time; his body gave him no rest and robbed him of whatever dignity he tried to maintain. She would pretend that she didn’t notice anything and he would pretend that nothing happened. It was their way of caring. They both knew that time was getting shorter and shorter and that each day was a gift. He never complained or took it out on her. Whenever there was a problem, she would quietly talk to the nurses before leaving, out of sight from him, letting them know if he was having difficulties. She didn’t want to embarrass him; he had so little left that was his.

When her mother-in-law passed, he held her hands and mourned the loss along with her knowing how much she had loved her. He told her, choking on his emotions and words, saying “It’s ok my girl, she is resting now.” He was showing how much he loved her by trying to soften the pain, the only way he knew how. He wept with her and she loved him all the more for it. He had always been this way with her, always gentle. That was why it was so devastating to get the bill -no one had told her that they were going to bury him the next weekend.