She was devastated when she got it, even a little confused. It was beyond her understanding this little piece of paper. Although she knew that it would have to be done sometime, she assumed that she would get a call or an email from them not a bill from the church announcing that it would happen the weekend coming up. It was less than five days away; she just couldn’t get her head around it.
She was still heartbroken from when he passed. God, she missed him so much. She missed visiting him, and chatting with him. She missed his big warm hands that held hers while they sat together in the common room at the home a few times a week over the years. Despite his infirmities, they always had a nice time visiting. Him, quiet and gentle while she was more outgoing and chatty. They were good friends and respected each other in their own quiet ways. She would ask him what he wanted to do with this or that whenever issues came up or if it was ok to change something or if she needed help with Mom. He was good that way and would let her know if that was fine or not, he liked that sort of thing.
He had had such a hard time; his body gave him no rest and robbed him of whatever dignity he tried to maintain. She would pretend that she didn’t notice anything and he would pretend that nothing happened. It was their way of caring. They both knew that time was getting shorter and shorter and that each day was a gift. He never complained or took it out on her. Whenever there was a problem, she would quietly talk to the nurses before leaving, out of sight from him, letting them know if he was having difficulties. She didn’t want to embarrass him; he had so little left that was his.
When her mother-in-law passed, he held her hands and mourned the loss along with her knowing how much she had loved her. He told her, choking on his emotions and words, saying “It’s ok my girl, she is resting now.” He was showing how much he loved her by trying to soften the pain, the only way he knew how. He wept with her and she loved him all the more for it. He had always been this way with her, always gentle. That was why it was so devastating to get the bill -no one had told her that they were going to bury him the next weekend.