A is for April Fool's Jokes

My oldest daughter has a really great sense of humour and anytime she can pull something on her dad she is up to the challenge.  This April Fool's Day was not exception.  However, she left me in charge of the implementation - bad idea.

Little background first:

My husband has a Jeep, a YJ to be exact.  It has a 30 inch lift kit on it and the corresponding tires and paraphernalia.  Very macho, very cool -it is his baby - literally.

That said, the three of us went shopping on Friday to TCS (a hardware store).  We went to check out their bird feeders because I wanted a couple of finch feeders to attract more songbirds. While we were there we poked around and checked out other aisles as well as the clearance counters.  We wound up picking up a maple syrup tap for our lone maple in the backyard with the hopes of making some maple syrup.  My oldest daughter noticed the nipples and bottles for feeding calves.  My husband, being himself, made some "witty" comment about them.  We nodded and kept going, being used to his rather off-eat sense of humour. 

Later on when I was doing laundry it hit me!  The perfect joke!  I called my daughter and she slipped back up to the hardware store and picked up a pair of nipples.  She thought it was a great idea!  I wasn't paying much attention to the date and decided that getting  up in the middle of the night would work the best to "decorate" my husband's jeep with a pair of nipples. I read until late and made lots of noise so it would force my husband to put in ear plugs.  I needed to be able to open the front door without him hearing the door opening and closing.  He was very accommodating and put in his ear plugs.  He rolled over and was asleep within seconds.  I read a bit longer, shut off the light and decided I had best wait until about four in the morning.

As I woke up at four, I wondered what had inspired me to pick such an ungodly hour but still headed downstairs and out the front door in my nightgown.  I felt a bit silly but hey! anything for a joke.  I tied a nipple to each of his fog lights and around the front bumper, cackling away to myself the whole time and praying that no-one came along or looked out their window...

The next morning we got up and he putskied around having breakfast, then raking leaves and finally washing the windows.  Meanwhile, I felt like the cat that swallowed the mouse but had no-one to tell.  I waited, impatiently but I did wait.  Finally, he said he was going to our daughter's to give her a hand washing her windows and doing stuff.  Off he went with nary a notion that he was sporting a brand-new pair of pink nipples!  I was laughing so hard I could hardly text my daughter to let her know he was headed her way, nipples leading the way.

He didn't notice them until about three in the afternoon when he prepared to head back home!  I would have like to have been the fly on the jeep hood when he discovered his nipples!

Also - The joke was on me as well because I had put them on the jeep a day early.  Got to love a good joke that keeps giving.

B is for Breadmaking!

If you have been following my posts for a bit, you know that making bread is one of my all-time favourite things to do!  I can wax poetic about making bread - what is not to like about a fresh loaf of bread that is golden, warm, and aromatic right out of the oven?  It is so relaxing and nourishing for the soul and later, for the empty nook in our stomachs.

I have been making bread it seems forever.  I made bread occasionally when I lived at home with my  parents and continued to make it when I lived alone.  My mother  made wonderful bread that still makes my mouth water thinking about it. I find it easier to make a quick loaf of bread than to run to the grocery store (that is four blocks away) to buy one.  (truly not logical!)


Using olive oil gives a wonderfully moist bread.  I have tried many different types of oils but have found that the olive oil gives a much nicer loaf of bread.   Your dough should feel soft but not sticky and dry but not hard.  You will know that you have it right when it feels like on of those soft stuffed toys that flatten out easily when you squish them.  The other reason I don't use exact measurements is because flour can be drier or moister depending how fresh it is and the amount of humidity in the air.

And yes, there are days that the bread just won't rise properly for love nor money - I personally think it has to do with the barometric pressure but who knows?   Thank goodness those days come only once every year or so.

 There are so many types of breads out there - from limpa to flat bread to oatmeal bread.  I generally make a simple white or oatmeal bread because it is quick and I can just whip it up.  I recently taught a breadmaking session to a group of teachers.  It was a lot of fun and I think they all came away with a good feeling about making bread.

The measurements are not exact measurements because making bread is a pleasure not a science. It is also remarkably forgiving.  I prefer smaller loaves so it will fit into my toaster after it is sliced.

Here are the instructions for a wonderful loaf of bread:

Basic Bread Dough Instructions for one loaf 

You'll need:

warm water
sugar
traditional Fleischman's yeast
salt
olive oil
flour

Pour about 1 cup or so of warm water into a large bowl - it should feel like a good warm bath but not hot.

Add about 1 tsp. sugar - you can also use honey.

Add about 1-2 tsp. traditional Fleischman's yeast.

Proof for about 10 minutes or until you see most of the yeast has "bloomed," or risen to the surface.


Using a fork, stir lightly.

Add about 2-3 tbsp. olive oil, 1 small tsp. salt, and start adding flour.  Mix enough in so that when you stir it it becomes like a super thick pudding.

(If you want, you can add about a handful or so of barely warm cooked oatmeal at this point.  Dry oatmeal will make your bread dry out quicker because it will absorb the moisture from your bread - cooked oatmeal won't do that.)

Clean  your fork off well under running water.  (It will adhere like concrete if you don't clean it right away.)

Continue to add flour and start to knead the dough while in the bowl until it  has a soft but not sticky or tacky consistency - you don't have to do this for a long time.  If your dough is too moist, you will get a large air bubble just under the crust - just add about 1-2 tbsp more flour to correct this.  If it is too dry, it will feel hard to knead -in this case, make a hole in the dough and add about 1-2 tbsp of water and gently knead it in.  It will be gross and sticky, at first, then will incorporate itself in.

Cover with a clean tea towel and let rise in the same bowl for about 1/2 - 1 hour - more or less. If time is an issue, this first rising can be shortened up as much as 40 minutes without much effect on the final product.

Punch down the dough and form into a loaf.

Drop into a well-greased breadpan, cover with clean tea towel, and let rise about an hour.  An hour or slightly more is the most desirable during the second rising as it will make your bread nice and light - if the room is cool let it rise a bit longer.  You don't want it to rise so much that it is wobbly though because it will not have enough strength to do it's final rising in the oven.

Preheat your oven just before the hour is up.  (350F)

Bake about 20 minutes for white bread and a bit longer for whole wheat.  Check it when the top is a nice very light golden colour.

Remove from oven if it sounds hollow when tapped and when the bottom is lightly browned. Bread is best if it is not over-baked and hard.

Place on wire rack and brush with butter.  Buttering the top and covering it will create a nice soft, flavourful crust.  Cover immediately and let cool at least 10 minutes before slicing.  (If you can!)


Note:
This bread can also be baked on the barbeque by heating one side of it and placing the bread pan on the unheated side.  I would lower the temperature to 325F because barbeques seem to run hot, at least mine does. Also - rotate it once so that the side adjacent to the barbeque burner doesn't burn.  Making it into two small loaves will also shorten the cooking time, which is best for the barbeque.

Enjoy!

Soapmaking - the real deal

I can hardly wait until the end of March/beginning of April when I have spring break.  It is not because we are going anywhere exotic, or even cross-country; hell we're not even leaving town!  I am pretty happy about just hunkering down and doing things that need a couple days to do - like soapmaking.

I love making soap almost as much as I love making bread.  Not the melt and pour stuff that you can buy in a large craft store but the real deal.  The kind of soap that makes you say "mmm" when you smell it and when it lathers up it is creamy and fresh smelling.  The kind of soap that you just know that only natural ingredients are in it.

I used to make huge quantities of handmade soap and sell it when my kids were little.  It helped to supplement our income and allowed me to stay at home with them.  As well, I wasn't allergic to it and it made the whole house smell great while it dried!

The hardest part that I find when I make soap is deciding which of my twenty-three different scents to make! Do I do my Rosemary is for Remembrance, Citrus Sunshine (hubby's favourite), Christmas in the Wilderness (one of my favourites), or do I do Euphoria or maybe Aphrodite's Delight?  I know for sure that I am making a batch of Aphrodite's Delight already for a couple friends who sell honey-based products.  It is a lovely, light soap with all of their honey's nourishing properties. 

Making soap is not hard, it just requires a few safety precautions and patience.  Generally, it takes about three hours from set-up to the end of clean-up to make a batch of soap.  Then it has to sit overnight before you can cut it.  After that, it has to sit for a month before you can use it.  A lot of recipes say to let it sit for only two weeks before you can use it but I am more comfortable with a month.  It needs that extra timeframe to become milder and it allows the bars to harden.  My batches are large because I have only the large frames and large recipes that I developed when I made it in bulk.  Forty-eight bars of soap will last us awhile so choosing the one I want to use for a long time is important - to me anyway.

I am hoping to possibly do a picture tutorial of sorts when I make it - so come and join me sometime in the beginning of April when I make a batch!  Hopefully, life won't throw me any curve balls and prevent me from it.